In last month's issue, I ran at the mouth (or rather the keyboard)
about how Wintel users aren't as cool as all of us because they
generally don't name their computers. I invited all of you, my loyal readers, to send me the names of your Macs with a short note about how they came to be christened with that name. Lo and behold, you responded to the challenge. Within days, my email box was overflowing with wonderful tales of valiant Macs who spent their days happily serving their masters. I read every single one of those emails, and I fully enjoyed hearing from you. It was quite a surprise to see how many of you have names for your printers, Zip disks, peripherals, and drive partitions! In honor of your efforts, I've decided to dedicate this column to sharing some of your tales with the rest of the world.
 
A Little About My Macs
  Yes, that's right! I said Macs as in plural! On October 18, my
boyfriend and I became the proud parents of a new iMac. Why did I
buy an iMac? Well first of all, I needed a faster processor, and because I already had a three-computer (two PC), cross-platform network in my home, the network-loving iMac seemed to be the most economical choice. Second, my PeeCee boyfriend insisted that we buy one. Somehow, somewhere, I finally converted him. For that alone, I should be nominated Mac Nut of the year!!! Lastly, after spending so much time demoing these computers for Apple at my local CompUSA, I've become strangely attached to the Bondi Blue cuties. Do I even need to mention that it took 10 minutes to pry it out of the box and pop it onto the cross-platform network and the Internet? It's so easy, it's almost sick.
Keeping in mind the spirit of this month's column, I'll even tell you what I've named the iMac. Because I have a habit of naming my computers as deities, I felt that I had to carry on the tradition. The iMac is named Aphrodite after the Goddess of Love. My 6400, which I'm still using to write this column since I haven't had time to move my files over to Aphrodite, is named Goddess2. As some of you may remember, my Mac Classic was named Goddess. I don't know how the tradition started, but the names seem to fit.
 
Most Inspirational Macintosh Name
You guys are gonna love this story!
  My Mac's name is Chesty Puller. Chesty Puller is the most
decorated Marine in the history of the United States Marine
Corp. He earned his reputation during the Korean War at the
battle of the Chosin Reservoir.
Col. Puller and his men were surrounded by over 100,000 Chinese soldiers. The Marines were outnumbered ten to one. It was so cold in
Korea in the winter that Marines would die and freeze in their foxholes. Col. Puller inspired his men to fight their way out against terrible odds; the only alternative was to surrender, then be captured and tortured.
Apple, and Apple users remind me of Marines — loyal, elite, and misunderstood, yet gung-ho to the max.
Semper Fi (always faithful)
Bill Skolnik
 
Warning: Adult Content!
We really don't want to know from where Kevin got this name.
My computer's name is Stiffie Central. I have no real clue why it is named that, but it is pretty amusing. When I first got it about 5 years ago, it had a 250 MB hard drive called Beer with a little icon of a beer mug foaming over. I don't particularly like beer, but all my friends got a kick out of it. When i swapped it out for a larger drive, i named it Beer 2 in honor of the original and gave it an icon of a beer keg to represent it's larger size.
Courtesy of
Kevin
 
Your Wish is My Command
See, it's pretty easy to bribe me into printing your stuff in Apple Wizards.
The name of my Mac is Theater of Dreams as my favourite band of all time is called "Dream Theater."
I'm hoping to see Dream Theater's name in next issue of Apple Wizards.
Courtesy of
Augusto Pirovano
 
And Now a Word From Our Most Delusional Reader:
I feel like I've just watched a promo for Xena: Warrior Princess whenever I read this submission!
  My Mac's name is Noble, because much like a good war horse, it
carries me speedily and steadily into the heart of any battle,
whether it be playing games (such as Myth), or into verbal
combat with uncouth chatters, or into carving out one more hole in the unholy keep that is Microsoft's market share. In his spare time, Noble works very hard on the RC5-64 project in conjunction with www.distributed.net, rampaging through key block after key block, fighting for the day when encryption technology can finally be sold overseas, and all computer users can have the same safety and comfort that we enjoy. Noble runs absolutely NO Microsoft software, because if it was installed, Noble would shut down in disgust and refuse to restart (or, at least that is what I THOUGHT he did... ;) ). Noble and I are both from an age when honor, courage, and chivalry meant something, and I am proud of my good war horse, my G3/300 minitower named Noble.
Courtesy of
Ryan Pettigrew (Bladetooth)
 
Powered by Sub Pop
This reader story originally included a complete description of stuffed animals and such that surround the computer desk. Let me tell you, Tony is a wacky guy.
  My new clone had no name. ("I rode through the desert on a
clone with no name...") Then one day I was out shooting at some
food, and up from the Ground of All Being came a sticker from
the record label company. "Powered by Sub Pop." While I was putting the sticker on the otherwise virgin beige side of the tower, I had an epiphany. To wit: that a) the tower was sitting under the table, hence sub, and b) I, a pop, was sitting higher than the tower, and c) I frequently listen to rock to power me through otherwise long boring productive sessions, and d) I often spill cola on the tabletop, which sometimes runs off the edge of the table onto the computer. Eureka! Synchronicity was clearly in favor of this euphonious appellation. Since it is a clone, hence a 'puter produced by an "independent label" so to speak, as such, bvd, by Fudd, I was forced, nay compelled, by no less a power than the State of the Universe Itself to name the clone "Sub Pop"....
Courtesy of
Tony
 
The Perfect Name for a Great Machine
This is my sentimental favorite!
  I had never considered naming my computer until I got my iMac.
Because of its shape and its ability to clean my space, I had
to name her after the Jetson's housemaid, Rosie. There I go
anthropomorphising this machine and referring to her as a female. (If anthropomorphising is the correct term for a feminine pronoun.)
Sincerely
R. Bradshaw
 
Still Haven't Named Your Mac?
Here's a list of some of the more popular or interesting names that I received. If I left your computer out, it's not because it wasn't cool enough. Believe me, it's here in spirit!
